Sisters Where is Your Mans DNA? Dont Need Adultry
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Thus, a man who casually cheats may do so without feeling a significant degree of emotional connection to a mistress, while a woman who cheats could see things differently, with sex and emotional connection intermingled in ways that make compartmentalization more difficult. Stated another way, when women cheat , there is usually an element of romance, intimacy , connection, or love. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to cheat to satisfy sexual urges, with fewer thoughts of intimacy. Women are less likely to operate that way. For most women, a sense of relational intimacy is every bit as important as the sex; often more important.
Predict your man's tendencies.
As such, women tend to not cheat unless they feel either unhappiness in their primary relationship or an intimate connection with their extracurricular partner — and either could cause a woman to move on from her primary relationship. Consider the results of a well-known study in which men and women were shown videos of two men having sex and two women having sex. This research is hardly an outlier: Numerous other studies have produced similar results, confirming that, generally speaking, women are attracted to and turned on by emotional intimacy especially in committed relationships , while men are more turned on by sex acts.
Put another way, male sexual desire tends to be driven by physiological rather than psychological factors. This is why porn sites created for male users feature short scenarios focused on body parts and overt sexual acts and little else. Even porn literature for men tends to focus more on sexual acts than on relationships and feelings. Not so for women. In such stories, you'll find very little in the way of purely objectified, non-relational sex. This is true even of the more overtly sexual Fifty Shades of Grey series, in which a really bad boy meets a really nice girl who knows in her heart that she can find the good in him and make the relationship work.
Men typically do not need to be in love to enjoy sex. This difference is most likely the product of thousands of years of evolution. This consideration may not even by conscious, but rather is part of the unconscious software that has evolved to protect women over hundreds of thousands of years.
Sex could commit a woman to a substantial, life-altering investment: pregnancy , nursing, and more than a decade of child-raising. These commitments require enormous time, resources, and energy. Sex with the wrong guy could lead to many unpleasant outcomes. They note that this internal safety mechanism is not willing to give cognitive approval for sex until multiple conditions are met.
Of note: Women with histories of sexual trauma tend to not have this self- defense mechanism , and as such, are more likely to engage in casual cheating and to be further victimized as adults. Men have less of a need to guard against the dangers of casual sex, so they have not developed this inner detective.
They will sometimes cheat just for the sex, even when they are perfectly happy with their primary relationship. Men can and do cheat on a good relationship, and good relationships are worth saving. Meanwhile, women are more likely to cheat when their primary relationship is not going well, and that type of already-troubled connection might not be worth the pain and effort required to rebuild relationship trust, emotional intimacy, and long-term harmony.
He is the author of several highly regarded books. Currently, he is Senior Vice President of National Clinical Development for Elements Behavioral Health , creating and overseeing addiction and mental health treatment programs for more than a dozen high-end treatment facilities. For more information please visit his website, robertweissmsw.
I still dump guys for cheating. It might not mean that he doesn't love me, but it does put my life in danger and the lying is a total lack of respect. As a woman who does look at the long term, I see no reason for investing in a man that is not on board with the plan. The problem for some women isn't solved by simply "dumping the guy who cheats", because they tend to pick the same type of guy for the next relationship and he's simply a guy who hasn't cheated YET.
Other women know how to choose a guy who is much less likely to cheat. It's often not a conscious choice. Any woman or man, for that matter who continues to experience the same problem with each relationship could benefit from therapy. When you're the common denominator, you can't just blame all of the partners you've had.
Couldn't agree more - all comes down to trust. I found this website sureheart wish more people used. I agree with the article in the sense of general gender tendencies, though there are, of course, many exceptions in each gender.
But I want to point out a logical flaw in the following statements:. For starters, men are usually able to separate and compartmentalize sex and intimate connections, while women typically cannot. For most men, sex is sex and relationships are relationships, and the two things do not necessarily overlap. The difference isn't in the ability to compartmentalize. The difference is in what can they can do without. Sure, men can have sex without emotional connection. But women can have an emotional connection without sex! Yes, women can't have sex without an emotional connection, but men would find it difficult to have an emotional connection with a woman without sex.
But saying that, things they are a changing.
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Now that women have easy access to birth control, they no longer have to worry about long term consequences. Secondly, with the availability to the iPhone, females can stay in contact easily with many suitors, without her significant other having any idea that she is being pursued. She can spend hrs texting with someone, getting emotionally attached and yet be sitting next to her husband all the time, who is watching the football game and doesn't have a clue. Meeting times and schedules discussed and agreed to instantly vs in the old days having to wait to see the girl again.
It's a different world now, where instant sexual gratification is readily available and the logistics of meetups is just a text away. This is untrue for a number of reasons. Any reliable form of birth control requires a prescription or doctor's visit. Many women don't have insurance and can't afford to see a doctor, and many don't live near a low-cost clinic. Birth control has side effects that range from annoying to life-threatening.
Attribution of an illegitimate child and rulings that result from that
Many women have to try multiple kinds to find one that's tolerable. My sister never found one that was. And yes we most certainly do have to worry about long-term consequences! In addition to consequences from side effects, no method of birth control aside from sterilization is guaranteed and even that fails on rare occasions.
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- Biophysical Tools for Biologists: In Vitro Techniques: 1 (Methods in Cell Biology).
Pregnancies while on hormonal birth control are hardly uncommon - if it's not taken at a certain time of day or if you're on medication like antibiotics that can make them it less effective, pregnancy risk goes up. But even taken perfectly, it still happens. Not to mention STDs. As far as lack of scientific evidence for such, it is likely NOT evolution or underlying true biological differences between men and women that primarily drive the apparent differential in monogamy.
This general value system, mostly originating in religious dogma, has crippled women for thousands of years, and to this date, Psychology Today would publish a completely unscientific piece to support such misogynistic views. Well, your post contains no original or supporting data either. And your implication that men and women innately are no different in their sexual tendencies is not really credible for a number of reasons.
I think your theory requires more support than the author's. My thoughts exactly. Shame on Psychology Today to publish a completely terrible and ridiculous piece. Thank you for speaking out. Yeah, but a little hard to explain things like the fact that porn is overwhelmingly viewed by men far more often than women in every known culture.
I don't think it's shameful for PT to restate what has been widely researched. What is the basis for your differing conclusion? Sounds like the old "Dr Mari. Western societies are aka white European societies, and I am happy to say that for thousands of years Europe under paganism saw women ruling the roost! You could divorce a man by simply leaving his boots outside the front door, and you got the kids and farm to boot! So contrary to your ridiculous nonfactual statement referring to "thousands of years of misogyny" in "Western" society, there is concrete science as to why Westernized men are still the best, and least oppressive men to partner up with!
Here are the facts you can Google Dr. DNA cellular memory is real, and both European men and women actually contain ''thousands of years'' of instinctual DNA memories which yield high respect for each other. Something you do not see with non-Western men as a whole, because it is not part of their cultural history. My neighbor is from India, and he spits in his wife's face if she even questions him.
Try doing that to a European woman, and you are liable to get a black eye, and what's even better? European men generally won't hit you back, and if they try - the other males of the same DNA group condemn and turn on them, and have done in spite of the Middle Eastern Christianity being forced down our throats! Sharia Law men are just evolutionary primitive. That's why for example, in their worlds, you can choose to be a porn star without fear of death!
In fact, they celebrate you as some kind of fertility goddess. This article is spot on, but then it is written by a Western man I believe. There is a reason everyone fights to come live in our lands. Get your facts straight "Dr. I did not claim that there are no biological differences between men and women.
I only question whether there are biological differences between them with regard to monogamy, the underlying assumption of this piece and I am sorry I did not realize it is a blog, it was linked somewhere else that made the impression it was a semi-scientific forum. In terms of who needs to prove what, when there is a claim that requires evidence.